Pinksoil,

First of all I have to say that I don't think your fantasies are weird. If I did I would have to think I was weird because I have had similar fantasies. In one of the letters I wrote to T when he was away in July, I said that I wanted him to read to my while I curled up on the couch. I gave him this letter but he never mentioned it (yet). So, it's there. He also helped me last week to realize that some of the massive anxiety I experienced was due to the fact that my husband was away on Friday night when he is usually at home, so I felt completely disconnected.

This weekend I have been sticking to hubby like glue. It's reassuring to have him at my side and T in my head. I believe it's not only good, but okay because it makes me feel safe. So, I say to you, go for it and enjoy. I even baked an apple pie yesterday, and felt so darned grounded by doing it.

((((Pinksoil)))) Be safe and surround yourself with love.