Hello Halloween Skye: Well... I guess I'm not one to tell you not to do this as I've made a couple of attempts as well. But I really hope you don't go through with it. I guess it's selfish of me... & realistically... in all likelihood I won't know if you do. But I've already lost one internet acquaintance to suicide. I don't want to even contemplate the possibility that there might be another. I am glad to hear that you're also planning things to look forward to. I hope that you can use them to leap over & beyond your desire to just end it all. Please take care...