For me, the work really wasn't about the therapy relationship. It certainly helped that I had therapists that I worked well with, etc., but the healing really was within. The therapists served to give me a sounding board and help me see my way through the process: they listened to my story, they taught me skills that helped me process through that history and my current thinking about my past, they helped me clarify within myself where I needed to go and what I needed to do to get there, and they supported me along the way. But it wasn't the relationship that did the healing really. It was more the work I did in reframing my past and my personal understanding of myself that healed the shame. They served more as supports and guides along the way -- absolutely necessary guides and supports because I couldn't see my way out of a shoebox at one point -- but the work was always focused on me rather than the relationship. I don't know if that makes any sense or not.