I was brought up in a world where everything always had to be perfect and the only thing in life that mattered is how you were viewed by other people. I was never thin enough or pretty enough. I never dressed the way I was supposed to and didn't follow the path that was designated for me.

This has always made me have issues with self acceptance. It caused me to develop body dysmorphia at a young age too. Several years back after my divorce I quit my job in finance and I said screw it, I don't care anymore and I up and moved from NC to Sweden, got remarried and am perusing a career in fashion, which is what I have always wanted to do. My father quit speaking to me and basically disowned me for not 'doing what I was supposed to'. But for the first time I felt good about myself. Then after a year I fell into a depression, and now am in a super intense manic phase. Then I got diagnosed bipolar. I'd always been terrified of thst because I'd worried that I had it and that my family would reject me (as they did my bipolar aunt). So the diagnosis cause me to take a huge hit as far as how I view myself.

Where I come from it's not ok to lose your s***. It's not ok to wander from the given path or to be different.