Oh my goodness! It sounds like you are adapting to this really sad situation and getting the support and advice that you need. If this is going to happen, then maybe a good divorce lawyer, one who has expertise with disability and mental health issues could help to put you on a firmer basis. For instance, when the wife of a friend of mine wanted to divorce him, the judge prevented it for several years, and placed stipulations on it, because of his mental illness and being dependent on her for support and insurance. I hope everything works out for the best, for you and your family.