Hi there. I am very deep into my addiction to meth, pills, alcohol. If I go one day without one of them, I go through withdraws. I know I need help. I have attended AA for almost 14 years now and can't manage to stay sober. I know I need a rehab but I am full of fear. I don't want to lose my place of living because I've had such a hard time finding a good place to live. Also, my 8 year old granddaughter needs me and I help out with her a lot. I also don't want my narcissist son to find out I'm in a rehab and keep my granddaughter away from me. I know these are all excuses. I am going through bad withdraws right now and I am substituting one substance for the other so I don't have to feel anything. I am Bipolar and dual diagnosed with poly substance abuse. I haven't seen my therapist for a couple of months because I've been too loaded and I am almost out of my psych meds and the place I go to doesn't have a doctor right now. So I am in fear of everything but drinking and using is making it all so much worse and I can't seem to stop. I've been going on spending sprees and spending money I don't have. My life is totally unmanageable.