Curley, I did not go into detail for the sake of time and space. But the point of the post was NOT blaming others but blaming myself for situations that I really couldn't control.

I had written a long post but got timed out so I will just write a shortened version of it here. The thing with my father is a thing between me and my father that has been there a long time, and NO, I don't think I'm to blame for it. I did everything I could to do right by him and he refuses to have anything but minimal contact.

The thing with the landlord, also did everything I could to do right by him, even paid him several thousand dollars in rent when I moved out to cover 6 months of rent there so he wouldn't be out a tenant and income. He and I are on very good terms; I'm just paranoid about that situation because there was tension there for a while. He and I are back to being friends.

The big thing is the ex roommate. And the more I think about this, the more I feel it is she who has burned the bridge and not myself. If she could have a mature discussion without passive aggressive comments dripping in vitriol, I would be willing to speak with her, but I'm not going to have a pointless discussion with someone who just wants to hurl insults. I've had many MANY roommates in the past and never had these problems. Having a roommate requires flexibility and communication, something this person could not do. She refused to have an flexibility or to communicate with me about things that bothered her. I have had roommates do things that bother me in the past, and I felt like I could freely say so to them, but not with her, because she is disrespectful and rude. I have had previous roommates say things that bothered them, and I apologized genuinely and fixed whatever the problem was, but not with her because she never communicated to me that she was having a problem with something.

My original post never claimed that I wasn't the problem. In fact, it was just the opposite. But the more I think about this situation with the roommate, which is the one that bothers me the most, the more I am convinced that 1) I did the best I could, which may not have been enough but it's the best I could do 2) I have to accept that my ex roommate is the way she is and she should never have a roommate and I found that out the hard way and 3) I feel like she took advantage of me, which as a friend, makes me angry and hurt.

Like I said, I'd be willing to keep this bridge standing if I could, but SHE has chosen to burn it. She has been the one to say we will have no more contact now that the roommate part is over and that our friendship, which existed before, shall no longer exist. That's her choice, not mine.

Curley, to your comment that nothing is going right for me, that's very untrue. I have had three unfortunate conflicts in the past 18 months, one that is mending, one that is mended, and one that is probably gone for good. But getting a new job and coming off of disability, while hard, is a very good thing that has happened in my life. Reconnecting with lots of friends and family that live in my new town, also a good thing that has happened in my life.

So I apologize, but I respectfully disagree with your take on what has been happening, and I thank you, because your comment has made me realize that I'm not just wandering around burning bridges or using people up and spitting them out, which is what I was afraid I was doing. So thank you for helping me put my thoughts straight.

Seesaw