Hello Jackkar --

Welcome to the forums. There are many fine people here. I hope you will find what you need.

I've been out of the "dating game" so long that these tales of passion remind me how great it is not to be there for the time being.

I don't want to speculate about why you are doing this. I agree with the suggestion about what to do: Get some counseling. There are many relatively inexpensive options for this. Most places have a United Way supported Family Services counseling service. Some counties and cities have mental health services. And there are even some private services that offer sliding scale fees.

You also might want to check out Al-Anon. Even though you haven't mentioned alcohol as a factor in the situation, Al-Anon offers a good 12-step program for helping us when our emotions are out of control and to help us restore sanity.

Good luck withis this.