You only have one life and you don't live it for your parents.

No idea what the best way to deal with your mother is. It's crazy to say you can't have a BF till 30. Honestly, most girls are past their prime at 30. The best possible BF you can get at 30 will be of lower quality than the best possible BF you can get at age 25.
And let's not ignore your fertility and the effect it has on the health of the child. As a female, you are on a clock, more so than a male.
It may sound harsh for me to just outright state this, but I feel this is good advice.

Not sure if I can say your mother isn't as crazy as you describe her. I would be inclined to say your fear is an exaggeration, but I can't be sure.

I feel like I should recommend you to confront her, stand up to her, and tell her your life is none of her business. But not sure if that's actually a good idea, her being an Asian 'Tiger Mom' like you say.


Saying you can't complete a PhD and have a BF is crazy. Fact is, you need distractions. Both to not get stressed, and to stay a balanced person.
Not to mention, your personal life is as important as your professional life. Sure, being financially independent as a female is very very important, so you have the power to walk away from bad relationships. But is that really at stake here?

I feel like you should tell your mom that during your next visit, you will take your BF with her, whether she likes it or not.
Or maybe that you have BF and that you want to bring him with you, and ask her if she is open to that or not.
Don't argue with her. Just tell her it's your life, not hers. She should know that you know better what makes you happy than she does. I mean, does she really believe you have to act to make her happy? Give her some time to accept that you are now an adult and that her ideas are wrong.
It's just her delusion, it seems, that she thinks she knows better what is good for you than you do.

If she really loves you, she will accept that you have the right to live a normal life and they you don't have to sacrifice your adult life for her sake.

And if you really are more afraid of losing your mum than losing your BF, that may eventually happen. The immatureness of your relationship with your mom will start to creep into your relationship with your BF.