I can't tell you whether or not to tell your mom, or how to tell your mom, or what will happen if you do. I have a friend who is no longer on speaking terms with her mother because her mother wanted to control her life and she wouldn't put up with it. Her parents weren't even at her wedding. And she's not Asian; this is an issue that can affect anyone.

The only concern I have is that if your boyfriend understands you so much, he shouldn't be pushing you to do something that you're uncomfortable with. And quite honestly, if he's as close to you as he says, if he sees not telling your mom as not taking your relationship seriously, I would question whether or not he takes it seriously.

I can tell you that, yes, if your mother doesn't accept it and pushes you way, that yes, it is her choice, and you have done nothing wrong. You're allowed to live your own life.

I wouldn't recommend actively lying to your mom. But other than that, I don't really have any advice. You have to do what feels right for you.