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Originally Posted by BudFox
Seems like it is a common finding in therapy studies that the quality of the relationship or therapeutic alliance trumps all other factors. And that the various techniques all fare about the same. The ubiquity of the transference concept also suggests that the relationship is central in many approaches.
Since core shame is a relational problem, makes sense to me that it would be healed relationally. The brain is a social organ. But not sure a purchased relationship is a great way to go about it, though maybe is better than nothing.
I suppose therapists want to believe their particular techniques are the thing but personally i would be a little iinsulted if a T told me they would teach me how to rid myself of shame. That's just my take.
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I think it really depends on their orientation. My therapist believes the relationship is very important, but it's definitely not the only thing. Transference isn't a big thing in his approach. His approach really works for me - I've been down the path with a therapist whose modality stressed the relationship as the main thing - that was useless for me, and I had no way of dealing with the traumatic feelings that emerged, and he didn't either. It was devastating. My current therapist and I work on concrete ways that I can help myself and take care of myself. It puts my own work and my own abilities at the forefront.
My therapist didn't tell me he would teach me to rid myself of shame - just to clarify in case you were thinking that was my situation. (I'm a little unclear as to whether you were referring to me.) I don't regard it as my therapist's job to "teach" me anything.