Hi seesaw,

After reading your posts, it sounds like what was happening was things that typically happen, but just all in one painful row. Sometimes it's not the number of things that went wrong that make it your fault, but just bad luck.

I think you might not have been looking out for yourself enough. Moving into a condo that was owned by your abusive dad? I think it was a bad idea for your sake, even though I know you might really have wanted to try to have a good relationship with him.

The ex-roommate situation seems like a common one. I think a lack of communication was probably a big player, but maybe the next time you have a roommate, you could have each other make a list of chores and who does what? A lot of hurt feelings can result from living with another person, especially if they're particular about how the the house or apartment should be. Hopefully she calms down over the fact that you weren't as "tidy" as she wanted you to be. Unless you were creating huge messes, which is rare and I don't think you were, I wouldn't begrudge someone over something like that, since being roommates means not having the place exactly as you want it, but how both people want it. It sounds like you were willing to clean more if she asked.

Plus, since you are just bringing up these few incidents, I'm sure other things have been going on in your life as well.

It sounds like you made things work between you and the landlord who was mad you didn't pay for damages. Were they significant damages? Maybe you could have let him know about them once they appeared? Or were they smaller things that you didn't notice until you moved out?

It's true that some people won't understand if you are going through a tough time. Especially if you're good at hiding your troubles or worries. I think you should be kind to yourself. It sounds like you just didn't let fires burn your bridges. If anything, it sounds like you've been taking care of yourself.