Quote:
Originally Posted by Angelique67
I'm really sorry this happened. I hope it won't affect you badly. I have been in a similar type of situation three times. In one, I didn't see my friend dead, but his brother told me. In another, my long term neighbor died in a nursing home the morning after I had been to visit and I arrived with fruit and V8 juice he asked for. I was so shocked to hear he had died.
I burst out crying uncontrollably.
In another, my father had died and I wasn't meant to see his remains, but someone at the funeral home removed the lid of the coffin. I was so upset I thought I'd never stop crying and shaking.
There may have been more. It's terrifying and horrifying.
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Hey, Angelique,
It's always so great to hear from you.
I don't think that the tears have stopped yet. It's completely different from my father's death (I was the first to see him after he had been made up, but his hair wasn't right, and I knew my stepmother would notice – I used a brush and hairspray but still didn't get it to her exact specifications and she, as I knew that she would, styled it so that it looked like 'him').
I only saw one more 'IRL' dead person until today – a wino that had his head bashed in with a cinderblock. Not very attractive but not very human-like either.
I had seen him sometime last week although I don't remember why. But we talked on the phone regularly. I had pinned my hope of getting out of the apartment ocassionly, and he was more than willing to be of help.
I haven't began to process my feelings and emotions yet; still stuck at numb, but I know that they're coming, and I can only hope that that I don't go loopy. I wanted to ease my new pdoc into my worries on Thursday but I think this is going to be a trial by fire, and I honestly don't know how I'm going to handle this (or not). My mind keeps jumping up to the 4th floor and what I saw and felt.
Just not certain how this one will play out, I just need to keep it together. Thanks for thinking of me – you didn't know Tom, but would you keep him in your thoughts as well?