Quote:
Originally Posted by Marylin
Thank you all so much for your responses and for sharing your experiences and giving advice.
I'd like to think it is never too late Ciderguy,so I hope you will try and meet new people, hurt can heal you know and then there will be room for love anew.
Laurabeth I think you are right, trying to live in the here and now is the way to conquer fear of death,they say those who truly live have no fear of death!
Be the real you, the genuine person inside ,is the way to defeat shyness.
Thank you OmegaLamed ,I will do what I must.
Ciderguy, if there is no one to stand by your side for now ,imagine your best friend from the past is right beside you and try to make the moves to introduce new people in your life and I promise to do the same.
Love and hugs to you all!Marylin
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Marylin,
I gave up on love, except that in my memories. I’m not in any position to meet new people and for twenty years the hurt has not healed. Just when I think that I’m getting closer, I get whacked on the side of the head with a baseball bat.
My best friend from the past died this weekend. Another neighbor and I found him, blue, purple, yellow, laying across his bed at about 4 p.m. yesterday. Even through this year+ of craziness, he still called, he stood by me, he understood. We were supposed to meet in the apartment lobby on Saturday morning. He didn’t show, didn’t answer his phone, etc. We got a master key and found him. There for 3 ½ to 4 days, probably. Not really the ‘type’ to be my best friend, but as good as they come. As compassionate as they come. We had a plan to get me out of the house regularly.
I literally have nowhere to go to meet new people. I wish that was not the case. I have a very vague hope that I may be able to go to Sunday mass again each week, but the woman who once took me is, yep, dead now, too.
When those around you are dying every 4 months, when transportation is more than just a bit problematic, when your ‘best current’ friend was covered in flies and larvae when you had your last glimpse of him… things get sort of complex and it’s probably not the best time to go looking for friends and lovers.