I find this exceptionally hard. I have seen T for 16 months and I have found my lack of emotional attachment to him really useful, especially for disclosure etc. The simplicity of our relationship was very reassuring, especially after my distressing, emotionally complicated relationship with T1.
So imagine my discomfort over the last couple of months, as I have developed very warm feelings towards him, which have only grown in strength. (I am loath to use the 'L' word, but it keeps coming to my mind).
I tried to talk to T about this today and found it impossible. I couldn't name a feeling and when I alluded to what I was trying to talk about I started to experience bright washed out vision which is the beginning of dissociation for me, and I told T this and had to take a step back from the conversation. I can think about my feelings for him but trying to tell him causes panic.
The other weird thing is that the feelings are like a switch, so all of a sudden I feel nothing and it feels as though I was completely making those strong feelings up.
It feels like the scariest thing to talk about, even more difficult than childhood trauma etc. I don't know if it's because of a sense of shame about my feelings?

Does anyone else have such trouble with these kinds of feelings? How do you get past it and discuss them?