Hey just writing to let you know I am here and I have been in the same place you are. What I wonder is can you find a new Pdoc I don't like the way yours treat you. Do you also have a therapist. Childhood trauma is a hard one I know that because I have problems with that also. You need to find somehow to start the pills again. Elveateadsoul gave you the name of a program that you should look into.