I am so sorry you are going through this. It might not seem like it to you, but many of us here have been where you are. I know exactly what it is like not to shower for days on end and to crawl back into bed (or on the couch) all day.
I got on a new med a few weeks ago and it lifted my depression. I feel good now and am taking another crack at life.
My old psychologist told me "If you hurt yourself, your kids will never get over it". This kept me going through many bad times. Am thinking of you and hoping things ease up.
Do get to a real psychiatrist and get on proper meds.