Quote:
Originally Posted by substancelessblue
[TW]
this makes me feel so weird, and sort of angry.
I feel like my scars/cuts/bruises are for me.
She also asked if I want to change, which felt sort of accusatory, though I know it probably wasn’t, like she thought the fact I have new bruises means I don’t care about getting better.
Or that they made her feel impatient with me, since I’ve been seeing her for years and I’m still doing this.
? It sort of felt like she was trying to shame me, but I know she wouldn’t…I think, anyway.
. It also scares me that she can look at my skin without me even noticing.
I suppose I just don’t know why she wanted me to know that she saw them, or wanted me to admit I had bruises.
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I quoted the parts of your post that brought out how you are feeling. That projection aspect, not in a judgy preachy way, but to highlight for your own reflections about what this session brought out for you with your feelings.
The last sentence, I'm guess if she does keep notes it could reflect that you mentioned hitting yourself. She saw visible bruises on your arm and asked if those were result of your self harming behavior. If this occurance seemed different perhaps where there's so much domestic violence these days, one can not be certain. Yet, back to the emotions evoked by this session.