Quote:
Originally Posted by colorsofthewind12
It's great that you got that kind of feedback.
This concept has recently come up for me in my own therapy and caused me to question it.
I think certian moments in therapy call for a therapist validating their patients experience (injustice, anger, pain) and then there are moments where it's necessary for therapists to be withholding in order to fascilitate exploration or the working through.
I think it takes a sensitive and skilled therapist to be able to be in tune with their patient and intuit what their patient needs to hear at that moment.
I also think it is very easy for a therapist, when frustrated or triggered, to hide behind "I am doing what's best for you" when being witholding. As patients, I think we can all sense where the source of the witholding is coming from(their issues or having our best interest at heart).
In general, I doubt whether the whole concept of "witholding" is even necessary in therapy.
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I'd never really call what my own T does withholding. Just giving space. If I'd wanted more reassurance I could have gone and sat by her and she would have somehow comforted me. I chose not to myself because I knew i had to work the feelings through.
On the phone or by text she may not say what I wish she would but she always reassures me that she is there if I need her and loves me.
She is incredibly attuned to me and knows what I need a great deal of the time. I think she always validates MY feelings. But when my feelings are confused she doesn't impose hers on me.