I was quite agnostic in my youth (late-teens). I spent many years going back and forth on many of the big questions. During this time I was also unbelievably unstable. So, philosophy/religion didn't play too big of a role in my life or BP until I was about 23, when I admitted to myself that I am in fact an atheist and also came to Satanism.

Satanic philosophy just made so much sense and totally kicked me in the butt to get and maintain as much control over my life as humanly possible. Yes, I am sick, but the sickness isn't everything and it isn't the entirety of my personality. An old saying in Satanism is, "Indulgence not compulsion," an idea which helped me get my drinking under control... though I admit smoking is another story. But I contribute my failure to quit smoking more to the physical addiction which, as we all know, is only second to heroin.

Satanism reinforced the necessity of taking responsibility for my own actions, even -- or maybe especially -- during episodes: don't apologize and ask forgiveness for things you know you're going to do again; instead, show you're sorry by trying your best to not do whatever it was again.

Satanism is about loving life and enjoying it and accomplishing your dreams in the limited time we have here and, to me, this includes staying in treatment: keeping appointments, taking meds, etc. We can't accomplish a whole hell of a lot when we're constantly unstable... at least, I can't. Sure, we all slip up from time to time, but nobody is perfect.