its ok, im fine.. i keep forgetting about it really, disconnecting or something

i started a new journal the other week so im trying to keep track of things... but im not reading the things i write..

i would say i could talk to my mom, but i dont wanna disturb anyone - things in my mind are haunting and whom ever learns about any of it wouldn't ever look at me the same

im good though, no worries.. just as long as i dont wake up one day and all this "repressed" stuff hit me in the face, whatever im forgetting needs to stay that way until i do have a therapist
brain feels numb i just find it odd how my mind reacts... i have a 1second memory span - as long as i go on about this other stuff the other stuff wont come out - but im really mentally / physically exhausted all the time because of it; just hope that no permanent damage is being done.. never really heard of anyone else doing this..