i think you should tell him exactly how you feel. i don't know if you read about the problems i had recently with my T. He did something that really didn't feel right to me and it hurt. It scared me and i felt like he was asking too much too soon among other things. i wrote and wrote and wrote about it... i needed to know just why it upset me, what it was that was hurting and why. And then i took a risk and told him i was unhappy. i told him why. It was very emotional and difficult and it took a couple of sessions or so... and now it will take time to rebuild what had gotten damaged, but telling him was the best thing i could have done.

You should address this is session... write back and tell him you feel he is expecting too much too soon...pretty much what you said here... and then, in session, ask to explore it. Think hard about what he is asking and what you expect you can do at this point and what there is in between. i understood what my T wanted me to do, just as you do with yours... but it was too far. i told him i was trying, and i gave him ways i was making efforts but hadn't gotten as far as maybe he wanted. (which of course lead to a discussion on me feeling like i was a disappointment)

he wanted me to find my own ways to reassure myself, to look for real evidence, etc... but had not prepared me, just as with you... i wanted that too, but i wanted something in between calling him every time and being completely on my own.

what i asked for was a voicemail or a written list... things i could refer to as ways to reassure myself instead of calling...

maybe you can work together to find a middle way too. Maybe there are ways you can take a baby step forward that feels ok, but will still be a step.

i'm not sure what that would look like... if you could picture a small step forward, what would it look like? Can you take 10 minutes at the end of a session to discuss together what next time will focus on? Maybe you can make list on your own but ask him to use your list to direct the session and see where it goes?

what my T said that gave me a lot of comfort... well a couple things... he said that he was open to feedback about what i felt was not working for me. He said i had a right to that, that he didn't have some rule book. He said the process is always very individual no matter what.... and the big thing, he said that the discussion we were having was "negotiation" on how we would work together. He was very aware that it was hard for me to object.

i think you might be surprised how useful the discussion about this can be.

i hope you do what is right for you now, whatever that is.