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Apr 28, 2016, 04:43 AM
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Member Since: Apr 2016
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Torgath
I'm currently still in high school, and about 3 years ago I found that I loved to draw/paint/write. Since I realized that, I've been desperate to get good enough at it so I may do it as a living. But for the past two months I've lost all intrest. Its not like I havent felt like practicing before, sometimes for weeks at a time, but this is different. I feel as if I've lost ALL I interest in my studies. Ive gone from studying between 2 to 6 hours a day on average, to 10 minutes if I'm lucky. Whenever I sit down to practice, it's like I never enjoyed the act of creating in the first place, and I would rather go fool around on the Internet. But of course that isn't fulfilling either. I hate everything I produce, it looks amateur, and I think I may have almost had a nervous breakdown not long ago while looking at the work of some artists I admire, and feeling like all the time I've put into practicing has been for nothing. The end result of this freak out was me just lying on the floor with my mind going crazy and tears in my eyes. I've begun to feel genuinely terrified that I've lost whatever interest I had in creating, and that Ive just wasted three years of my life. Not to mention that just the idea that i may not end up making a living as a creative person literally makes me feel sick. What's wrong with me??? I should also note that I homeschool, and therefore have enough free time to get hours of art study done without working late into the night. Please help.
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I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've been pursuing creative writing and songwriting for almost six years now, started off as a complete amateur, but insisted on working towards becoming a true artist by sharing my work, receiving feedback, making changes any time I felt they were necessary ( hence a lot, because I was never satisfied with the final results ) . Reading somebody else's work never failed to bring me down, as my writing suddenly seemed dull, lacking any sort of essence and meaning. As far as my studies are concerned, it's been even worse. I am simply unable to study more than 15 minutes a day, my mind is always distracted by the smallest of things and I waste so much time doing **** on the Internet and binge watching YouTube. At the moment, my life literarily lacks both creative writing and actual studying for school. I still write songs, but that's because I feel divergent emotions and need to get rid of them somehow by working on an artistic outlet.
But enough about me. I would really want to make a suggestion and give you some advice, but as you probably noticed yourself, I am in the same uncomfortable position as you are ( and 'uncomfortable' is an euphemism here ) . One thing I can suggest is think of an alternative career you might want to pursue, for which you would go to college and later work on throughout adulthood. For example, I will go into scientific research as soon as I get my university degree ( three years from now, actually ) and pursue creative writing and songwriting in my free time, and maybe even get published. You don't have to make art the main purpose of your life, but it can be one of your life objectives. You need to find a balance. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it.
Then, a suggestion I received from someone older and definitely more artistically experienced than me is JUST CREATE. No matter how crappy your art is, just create it and keep creating it until it isn't crappy anymore. I was literarily told that my writing is horrible right now, but that this is how it should be: I need to be a bad writer now only to become a good writer later. Just like it happens in life: we make mistakes as teenagers to learn certain lessons and apply them in our adulthood. Or we go through puberty and look like a potato only to become handsome as adults. Surprisingly or not, this encouraged me to continue writing.
I do hope I've managed to help you somehow. Let me know how your progress is going! 
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