Having a sit down discussion with your daughter seems justified. Where has the rift begun? I read about disneyland motherhood, yet am missing why your own mother has allowed such a rift to continue. Alienation of parents is just avoidable in most cases. Barring of course those that act in abandonment, etc.

I've seen instances of ex wives remaining family and civil with new wives/step parents of the children. Mother of the child is a big deal in numerous cultures.

Did your lack of attendance with your families events cause this between yourself and daughter?