I have an "evidence box" and a "bf bashing journal"....

The former is for me to look through when I need reassurance, because my bf is legit and I don't want him repeating himself all the time, my insecurities are my problem.

The latter is for when I feel the overwhelming compulsion to spew vitriol at him.

I write exactly what I want to say to him in the journal, no holds barred, then sit on it for a week.

In that week I probably edit it at least 10 times, if by the end of the week the content is relevant and not just a bpd trippin episode, I say what I need to say, but am much calmer by then so its minus the vitriol and we can discuss calmly.

These two coping skills have saved my relationship as I also used to push and shove... Once I pushed him so far out the door it took him a year to find my house again!

When we got back together he made "pushing" his deal breaker, he just can't deal with it, he finds it emotionally abusive, extremely confusing as well as hurtful.

So I wasn't exaggerating when I said these two methods have saved my relationship.