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Originally Posted by thepterodactyl
Thank you for sharing this! And I totally agree -- I've even had doctors ask me whether certain aspects of my 'highs' (and sometimes bizarre thought-processing) are just part of being a creative and obsessive person. I've been thinking about this a lot lately because all of a sudden - after 5 years of struggling with my project and suffering horrible ups and downs - I've written my entire dissertation in the past few months AND have been pretty near-stable the entire time...I've had none of the inspired 'frenzies' I used to have, and no crashes either - just steady, satisfying productivity. Granted, it's not as exciting, but I've actually finished something for once. It just really makes me wonder whether the mood swings were due to extreme stress (got them before I started phd program as well, but feel like I've been 'stressed' my entire life) and whether my inability to get anything done was caused by the ups and downs, or was causing them...
Sorry for the ramble, good to hear from someone who relates!
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The last project I worked on I didn't have the creative frenzy experience. I experienced a writer's high, but it wasn't like it was with my project before last. I was very productive, but it just wasn't the same, and I didn't crash afterwards. When I finished that novel (the non creative frenzy one) I just assumed it was one of my worst novels, but my husband actually told me it was one of my best, much better than the one prior.
So... maybe frenzies don't produce our best?
I had a psychotic break last year that resembled a manic episode (had all of the symptoms, except for spending a lot of money and doing risky behavior, but honestly I was too frenzied to have time for that nonsense!), and I think it was just extreme anxiety and stress, like to the point where I experienced psychosis.
I don't know. I think I've been misdiagnosed. I'm going to have a talk about this with my new psychiatrist next week.
I think I just have really bad anxiety.
But I'm happy there's someone else who thinks they may just have anxiety/stress problems! I've really been thinking about this for awhile!