Hi there,

I thought I'd open up here about this thing that's been bothering me for a long time.. Basically, I'm pretty freaked out about everything to do with intimacy/sexuality.

I think part of it is fear, of the unknown.. My parents never provided me with a good example as their marriage is horrendous. I've never seen any tenderness or closeness between them, just hatred and violence.

Also, because my dad didn't want kids and wished he'd never had me, I've always felt completely worthless, especially in men's eyes.. I was well into adulthood when I realised dads actually have a very important role in girls developing good self-esteem. I missed out on everything a father-daughter relationship is supposed to be.

Many people are so open about sexuality these days, and at my last job, would just casually talk about it while I sat there all uncomfortable and dreading them finding out I've pretty much got zero experience even though I'm not that young anymore.

I'm thinking maybe the way forward is to just break the taboo and talk about this here in a safe and empathetic environment.. Maybe someone would even like to play my surrogate mum for a bit and tell me there's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about when it comes to intimacy/sexuality, that it's an integral part of who we are, and it's normal and healthy to be curious and explore, and there's nothing to be afraid of.. (She said, blushing.. )

Thanks for reading