i think we tend to act out our pathologies...

i usually feel attracted to father figure types. someone who i can idealise a little. someone who is strong in a way. so i can feel safe and protected and kinda merged with their strength. i guess a downside to this... is that the person might turn out to be sadistic or something. into physical strength or a certain macho thing... i don't tend to go for that, however. while i do have a distinct preference for tall ('cause i'm rather tall myself) and more solid than me (e.g., not a bean pole build) i find a certain gentleness and emotional responsivity to be very attractive rather than someone having a macho idea of masculinity... i guess physical and emotional closeness is important to me... but then... i think i am attracted to good people. probably not the most psychologically healthy people... but good people. never been attracted to someone who has physically or emotionally hurt me... but then... i've never really let anybody in properly before... hard to tell but i am starting to wonder whether mr man might have some kind of intimacy issues... perhaps... dunno. only time will tell, i guess. i think i need to mirror him more... maybe i help him feel stronger 'cause of my idealising him a little. or maybe he feels worried that he will be inadequate or somehow let me down. more with the mirroring and less with the idealising methinks. i think he might have intimacy issues :-( still... if he is prepared to work on them then i'm up for that 'cause i'm not psychologically perfect myself ;-)