They want me to join some LGBT social groups to try to meet people and stop thinking that I won't ever meet someone. They also pointed out correctly that my last attempt (the one that put me into this depression) had some very immature aspects.

But the social thing is something I have done and followed through on after my earlier bout of depression. Back when I was full of hope. I put a lot of effort into it for many years and it didn't work. I pushed myself past my social phobias. I pushed myself to get out and meet people. Now my ability to repeat that is much more limited by my health. I can't go out dancing any more because of the heart issues and I can't even get out to events as I tire easily and find it difficult to drive. Aside limiting my ability to act as much these traits certainly do not increase my odds of success if I were to start trying them again.

I know about the immature aspects of my recent excitement (they really hit the nail on the head in describing them) but that's because I have absolutely no experience with this throughout my entire life. So in addition to trying to be social again I am supposed to somehow start to build a lifetime of experience? They've all but guaranteed that if I were to start socializing again any hope of romance would fail on the first few attempts due to my immaturity/inexperience.

They correctly do not want me looking at my crystal ball and negatively predicting that it is impossible that I might somehow find my first successful relationship in life at my stage of life. I get that it is not impossible. I shouldn't even worry about it's unlikelihood.

What they don't understand is that I can not will not do not want to start all that effort and risk and pain again. I do not want to try. I don't even want to expend the energy any more fighting this depression. Going to the hospital program is physically taxing and emotionally draining. It is helping, but it is helping with the daily depression thereby exposing the larger longer fight I would have ahead if I want anything more than merely surviving afterward. I don't want to start that new struggle and I no longer want to go on merely surviving.