Tripp, I would like to second this: how smart I think you are w/ these self-care tactics. Amazingness. <3

In our relationship, it is Crazyman who's the "push push push" person, and he's really good at it, heh. But he hasn't your ability to back off a couple of paces & look at this with less passion but more perspective. I get it that his anxieties kinda take him over, & when that's the case it is just exactly like living w/a pre-schooler... yeow!

It feels very manipulative, which also feels like bullying. He's better than he was when he was 23, but holycow!

So yeah, OP, from the viewpoint of a very difficult and resentful-of-pushy-partner-tactics woman, I gotta say the best thing imo is just to ease back, relax, and let the relationship come into its own on its own terms. Hard to do, I'm sure -- but if a friendship is to be real, it cannot be forced nor demanded into existence, can it?

Very best of luck, hon.

xo
Chyia, on the other end of the :seesaw: