That has alwasys been my philosophy Elevated... I spent my whole life figuring if I made friends someday a soulmate would shine for me. Never felt lonely, never felt the urge to rush the process.

That changed with my first bout of depression. I decided I needed to be more active. This did not mean changing my philosophy, but it did mean putting myself in more social situations in order to try to make more friends.

I'm very introverted so trying to make friends is very stressful and taxing for me.

It takes me a very long time to make close friends. Lots of acquaintances, no problem... But to open up to someone and to want to get to know them more deeply takes a lot of time.

Then to think that someone is special and may have my attention in an romantic partnership, almost never happens for me.

It has only happened for me two times in my entire life and both times I was rejected and led me to a deep depression.

I'm not interested in sex so that limits my outlets and who I will take a chance with in making friends. In the gay scene, a lot of men say they want to be friends but they are only interested in quick sex. I am looking for intimacy but no sex. I don't know who would want to invest in that, so far I've had ZERO takers either way.

Recently I've come to realize that all the time I was out there trying to make friends, not one single person has ever approached me to try to make me their friend and not one person I've friended has expressed an interest in something more than that with me... sex or otherwise. You'd think that in all of my time on this earth I might have been propositioned at least once if humans had any interest in me at all.

I was on a dating site for a long time adding people to my "favorites" list and after over a year I got a notification that I was added to someone else's favorites list. I had not realized that when I favorite someone they get a notification... And also realized I had been interacting with men on this site for over a year and not one person had enough interest before to put me on their favorites list.

People want and like to be my friend. Just nothing more.

I don't think that could be "never" but again, I no longer want to put in the effort. I not longer go out and therefore no longer meet any new people. I don't talk to or friend people at the diner etc so if I am not forcing myself into a social situation it is not going to happen. And I no longer want to spend the effort forcing myself into social situations. I've even stopped going to work functions or any other **** like that. Just don't want to anymore. Just want to stop.