I'm not sure what to do anymore.. My depression is really bad and im in the process of getting a new counselor and all... But mainly, im doing something really bad... I'm cheating!! (( which is kinda like really weird because I don't have a boyfriend/never had one.. But I've really liked my Bestfriend for ever now.. And he's kinda a f boy (if that makes sense) and he's gone through so many girls.. Like a lot.. My girl best friend dated him and I watched them makeout... She didn't know I liked him (supposedly).. But now he has a new girlfriend, who's, im not going to lie, absolutely gorgeous and SHES the perfect size, she plays sports, basically the opposite of me.. They've been dating for almost 3 months but we've been talking for 3+ years.. I know its not okay but idk.. It's not fair.. I love him.. At least I think, im too young to understand the concept of love fully.. I know I love him as my BESTFRIEND.. But I mean, we text sometimes, when we do it's always stuff like "babe, baby, sweetheart, I love you, ect.. We cuddle sometimes and I mean he kissed me but I didn't kiss him.. I really want to be his 1 and only girl but I mean.. Once a cheater always a cheater right? And im just terrible Right?! I mean I know he has a girl but I still tell him I love him and go girlfriend stuff.. It's definately not okay.. Ugh..