Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I actually don't know anybody who can just "chill" when it comes to dating especially early stages when it is unknown , neither men nor women. The only people could really chill are either the ones that date several people at once or just aren't invested.
Everybody else freaks out ( men and women) and is nervous and second guessing etc even when things are great from the very start, it is stressful because you aren't sure if you are missing red flags or what do things mean or other things Etc
some people just have better skills coping with "unknown" of these first stages or control it better or know how not to show it. But they freak out. I wouldn't beat yourself over feeling this way. Just watch your actions but I don't see these feelings as wrong or unusual
Now saying that it is s challenge with long distance because until you meet its hard to call it dating and it is scary to get invested too soon and not really know how the other is etc etc unless people decide to meet fairly soon I see how this could be so stressful ( I did long distance and it became too stressful and unmanageable for other reasons so was mutually agreed not to continue)
I would give it more time to see how things go but I don't think you need to lower your expectations but rather give it a little wait time to figure out was going on. Too soon to have a clear vision about it
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Thanks for this! I've had a lot of people I've the years tell me that I tend to expect a lot out of people and situations, and I do. I maybe need to manage expectations rather than lower them.
The distance is hard. I told him that the other day. I said I wasn't going anywhere or doing a push-pull dance, but for me, it's a difficult thing. And he gets it. Idk what will happen. On the other hand, it helps me with restraint on some levels. At least, while I settle down a bit. And I'm settling. I am. (I'm telling myself
)
He is very patient, which helps. But I don't want to be someone he HAS to be patient with, and then someone breezier comes along and he's like, oh...she's so much easier to be around, so refreshing...and then that's it with me. So I'm trying.