10.20pm. i just worry... incase he is oncall or something... incase he uses his cellphone for emergencies or somtehing... dunno... worried about nothing maybe... maybe i'll email him. that way he can respond (or not) just when he wishes. said that i don't like him taking time off (though i know it is understandable). maybe... i can tell him that i feel hurt and alone and vulnerable sometimes. maybe i can. i don't know. i'm sorry.