BP is my normal. I have no clue what normal for others feels like. I want to be the best version of me I can be. I don't think I will get there contemplating what normal feels like for my neighbor and his uncle, ya know?

I used to figure I was normal.... That everyone went through what I do. They were just better at hiding it.

I do think I understand though. When I'm UP/EUPHORIC, I feel like other people are holding me back, holding me down. I feel people resent my energy and they are the one with the problem. Only when I come down, can I reflect and kinda see what they were talking about. It's confusing but I'm glad I have the anchors in my life. Without them I'd be dead.

Now, I just focus on being a stable version of me. I like that person. My family likes her and they feel comfortable around her. I hope I can hold on to her this time.