thanks.. being a therapist would be kind of nice i think, but i would really have to do alot of work on myself to get to being able to be responsible for others i think

i think with any drug dependence and addiction, physical and psychological.. it can develop at pretty much any dose.. depending on the individual and how the drug reacts with him/her.. some people can take 5mg valium and barely be able to walk and some people need to take 2x that just to have a calming effect ..
the longer you are taking these kind of meds everyday the higher the chance of dependence is.. they haven't given me the valium so i cant really speak from experience on that one because i guess they didnt like the way i used the klonopin but they didnt like anything i did apparently

the klonopin the rx .5mg up to 2 times a day as needed (if i remember correctly) but they told me not to take it everday if i could help it, of course i tried not to but being someone with low coping abilities i gave in and just started taking it regularly.. i never had the intentions of getting high or abusing it though, honestly!
so about a month of taking 1-2 a day i realized that the effect diminished fairly greatly.. and i found myself experiencing what seemed like worse anxiety, but it may be that rebound anxiety people talk about.. i always told myself it was because i felt that relief from the anxiety and when it came back i could feel it 10x as much just because i knew what relief felt like.. not that the anxiety increased so much just that i was able to feel it more, if that makes any sense.. being someone thats always anxious and being anxious my whole life it kind of became something i am used to somewhat so when i got the relief it really upset me when the anxiety came back..

i ended up taking 6-8 + a day towards the end.. which would be like 3-4mg..
it helped but it really seems to lose efficacy when you become dependent...
so i thought i could take a "vacation" from it and return to it when my tolerance lowered and just tough it out for a few months since my pdoc appointments generally were 6-7 months apart.. but the pdoc lied about it and refused to give them to me when i went back so thats really when i lost the little trust i was trying to give him.. but i digress..

i think i read somewhere that with the klonopin you have higher risk for dependence when you are taking 2-3+ mg a day... lower doses are safer but the drug can effect individuals differently.. like you see someone have 1 glass of wine and act all silly and then you have some that can drink a whole bottle of wine and be fine :/

if you have a good doc maybe you could discuss tolerance/depences with him.. but becareful because it seems some docs seem to think you are interested in getting high when you start showing interest in the medication like this or something -.-
my doctors really didnt understand me so maybe it was just something that happened with me and it doesnt happen with others so much?

the valium i have taken probably 20-50mg a day... (only for a few days as i didnt have a prescription) ive taken large amount of klonopin too, but im a "tank" as some people say if you know what i mean... it takes a load of elephant tranquilizers to bring me down and i really dont recomend taking such high doses of thinngs like this!
you're much better off having some wine and smoking a joint
benzodiazepines are potent drugs even though the effects seem low sometimes and even im not interested in taking such high doses.. even though i wanna pull my hair out sometimes

theres a little bit of interesting info on the wiki about it
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benzodiazepine_dependence

to be honest, im the kind of guy that really doesnt like taking any meds.. because im afraid of the side effects and unwanted effects they have.. but the way i see the world is a bit different... i look at everything as a substance, food.. water.. alcohol.. methamphetamine.. its all something that affects the body in some way... we just have to learn how to use different things responsibly to improve quality of our life... without putting ourselves in danger you know - even cutting .. or taking hot baths... or running so far and fast that your legs give out.. even those things release endorphins and chemicals in the brain that are "natural" that change the way neurotransmitters fire and the way signals are sent through the brain through the CNS and all..

but anyway, just as a disclaimer im definitely not a professional so dont listen to me ok?! i didnt even graduate highschool for crying outloud

im just rambling because these things interest me.. but my mind is really scrambled ultimately so im not sure what im saying half the time anymore
so i apologize if i have said anything wrong or any misinformation, really is not my intention and if someone can inform me im always happy to learn new things

try to relax and do some nice things for yourself today and this weekend.. you deserve to take a load off