There are a couple of danger areas for me. If I have a major (well major to me) emotional upset involving a relationship I will SI immediately to soothe myself.

The second area is if things are going well for too long of a time. It is like I can't stand things to be just fine. I need a degree of chaos to feel...well normal and ok. So I will self injure then things are crazy again because then I can concentrate on how "sick" I am with the need to self injure. This is when I will start with a slight itch and then the obsession builds and builds then I will start looking for reasons. Looking for things that could possibly be a trigger so that I can get upset enough to hurt myself. Writing this makes me feel like I am admitting to being a fake or a liar or a seeker of attention. On the other hand I hide it all. I don't know.
Carrie<font color="blue">