Oh my, thought I was the only one who learned this. My dad had little education & could just barely support my mom & me. My mom refused to work the menial jobs she was only educated to do because my dad didn't want to work at all as long as she was working afterWW II.

One good thing there was no credit cards back in those days like today so they didn't get themselves in bad financial trouble. My mom was so helpless depending on my dad for everything I wanted to be nothing like her as I didn't respect her for being so helpless & how limited it made my life growing up. I HATED feeling sheltered. Wasn't thrilled with my dad for so many reasons basis had to do with lack of education which I THOUGHT was the basis for the way he was. I fought hard to be nothing like them so I fought to be independent.

Not sure how much of that is personality or not. I have a friend who grew up in a dysfunctional family & if someone told her she couldn't do something, she rolled over & didn't do it. If someone tole me I couldn't do something, I did it to prove them wrong.

I got my validation & sense of pride from my teachers. She got it from relationships of others. I was an only child & was used to having to learn things by doing. She had brothers & got her value from helping her mom, not learning on her own but from what others were willing to teach. Guess finances were a bad issue in her family & had a H who took over everything so now she feels incapable of being financially responsible in resenting that in her divorce it took away her being financial well off which makes it more difficult.

The independent women I know Even married seem to be a lot happier in their lives.

My ex H had a high IQ, but was useless with anything that required common sense but could FAKE it real good so he nor anyone else knew that he didn't know what he was sure he knew....so don't trust your H to be capable. My ExH got us into a bankruptcy situation but couldn't handle it when he came right down to it. He was as useless as he claimed to know what he was doing. He BS'ed really good