Hello asdfhjkl123: I see this is your first post here on PC. So.... welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! May you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

You know, honestly, if I wrote here that I understand what is going on between you & your significant other, I'd be lying. Really... I have no idea! From what you wrote, it sounds as though you each have your own issues & there's probably plenty of blame to go around.

To my mind, your situation is not one that will lend itself to any suggestions I might make in this reply. From my perspective, if the two of you genuinely want to make your relationship work, you need to avail yourselves of the services of a skilled Marriage & Family Therapist & commit to sticking with it for the long haul.

My spouse & I have been married for over 30 years. And I'm here to tell you that keeping a relationship going over the long term is a challenge under the best of circumstances. Quite honestly, we're still together primarily because she is unflinchingly committed to me. From that perspective, I am truly blessed. And yet, still, we have our problems... on almost a daily basis!

I don't know if the two of you are destined to stay together or not. But since you have 2 kids together, it certainly behooves you to give your relationship every chance of surviving. I wish you both well...