There is only 1 person besides myself who knows ALL my "known" manic details. I think it will remain this way forever. It's my husband and he has either seen, or heard about the worst of it (and some is so, so bad). Some I'm sure I've forgotten. I used to think I never blacked out. Not from drinking, not ever. Recently some things have come to light which make me realize I'm positive I have, on several occasions. But the worst of it, I'm sure I have remembered. He's forgiven me (my husband), and that is helping me forgive myself. It's a hard road to go down when thinking about them.

I "want" to talk about them all with my therapist someday, and maybe if I find the right one I will. I only give a general list and overview with therapists, not too many details, not many feelings, not thoughts about it.

On a positive note, I think it's really good you have someone to share these things with. It's rough, I know. I think it's a good idea to write everything down, and bring lists to doctors..... Because I forget so much until I leave of course. But, I forget to write lists more often than not. I need to learn to work these hand held computers called phones better..... It's easy to make lists on them I'm sure.

Good luck and hugs going your way. I hope this appointment leaves you with everything you require for wellness right now.