Hi NesterJones! Welcome to PC. It sounds like you're really stressed and feeling caught between a rock and a hard place.

I don't know how your finances are, so the following may not apply to you. Have you tried going through patient assistance programs? This was a great program for me when I couldn't afford my meds. https://www.pparx.org/. It covers multiple pharmaceutical companies. There's a thing for finding low cost care, too.

Hopefully you'll be able to get on some meds that'll help you feel better.