only the doctors and judges tell me im fine, the first therapist looked at me like she saw what was wrong - even i didnt know at the time...
but she had to leave of course, my healing wasnt ready for me apparently... the second therapist was a scary witch like woman... maybe she was a nice person, but i was terrified... she didnt say maybe 3 words to me in the 2 meetings i agreed to try to see her... who the heck tries to help someone but just stares at you the whole 45 minutes...
sometimes i wish i could remember what happened, but i dont really want to - because i know i just started talking what seemed like really fast, about who knows what? was i talking about ponies and monster trucks? was i saying that the room seemed small? did i spill everything about all of my traumas? is that why she didnt say anything?

im scared of what my medical record has in it :/ or what they talked about behind my back