That makes perfect sense. Sometimes when things are going fine it may be due to some self denial. You know stuffing the feelings. Instead of speaking up when my hubby bugs me I just let it slide. And it is ok for a little while, and I like the smoothe quality of life for a little while. But then each time I stuff an irritation, life become duller because I turn a little more of myself off in order to not feel the irritaiton that I just stuffed.

Oh, this is interesting. Maybe instead of seeing it as needing a little chaos in my life maybe it is more that I clearer vision...honesty to myself. The self injury brings out the feelings tha I have stuffed. Unfortunately the feelings have been transformed in the process and get sent in the wrong direction.
Carrie