*a lot not allot. I have more typos when I'm posting on my phone.

Anyway. Thanks for the feedback, everyone. I feel like we're communicating as before, now. I think the challenge for me is to continue to learn to manage stress in healthy ways, and self-care. I've been dropping the ball on meditating and man, can I tell.

I'm told by my manager that the ICU wants me and I'm like eh... alright. She said with my attention to detail, she feels I'd be a good fit (read: I am really freaking type A! Haha! Well, you learn to work with what you have, hey?) I love ER, but what happened is that, basically, I caught wind that there are two individuals who are in positions of leadership in the dept who have said (in that ever-popular locker room gossip) that they are waiting for me to fail. While I'm confident in my skills, and my boss, educators, and preceptors are as well, after about a week of deliberation I've decided that for my own self-respect this is not a fight I wish to fight at this time. I don't need to prove my worth to anyone, and during residency and orientation I should just be focusing on gaining skills and experience anyway. My mental health and my patients deserve better than my having to deal with petty BS, and experienced nurses eating their young. So I asked to transfer. While it does add a layer of stress for now (because I'm already halfway through orientation and I have to learn a new department, new group of colleagues and providers), I think it'll be good in the long run. I was interested in ICU throughout nursing school, so we'll see.