Hello Doggielover: Welcome to PsychCentral... from the Skeezyks! May you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I have to say that I don't have any useful suggestions for you here. From what you wrote, you've "run the course" with this man many times. And you seem to understand what is going on, as well as what your options are. There's nothing I could add that would shed any new light on the situation, I don't believe. Somehow, you are simply going to have to find the inner strength to break free. Perhaps sharing all of this with a therapist might, over time, help you to gain some additional perspective & to develop a plan for extricating yourself from this co-dependent relationship. In the end, I'm afraid there are no secret solutions... nothing someone can "whisper in your ear" that will suddenly set everything straight. Ultimately you simply have to come to a decision & find a way to stick with it. I wish you well.