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Originally Posted by black-roses
Hello guys, I am sick of my mother always telling me that my boobs are becoming soft and sagging down because of not wearing a bra. It is making me feel like **** and boobs honestly sag down it is expected after the surgery I had to reduce them. What do I say to her to tell her I don't want her making those kind of comments because I feel it is not necessary and I feel quite upset over it. When I do everyone just says I am being sensitive well you would to if you were practically shamed into hating your boobs because your sister was reminding you how saggy they were before surgery. Why are women so ****ing shallow I was shamed into feeling bad and embarrassed of my own body that it became an obsession a paranoia. Then what started happening is I started saying bad things about it and then I felt ashamed and hated my own boobs to the point of cutting them off. I am starting to feel that way again even though they are smaller now and not saggy my mother is just a superficial ***** who needs to shut the **** up. All boobs sag and yours are worse then mine but I never pointed out that yours had fallen or made fun of your uterus poking out of your vagina(she told me her uterus had fallen and was slightly visible from her vaginal canal). I know these are words but it is essentially bullying and abuse because it makes me feel like **** for something I have no control of. Before people tell me to move out I can't I have no job or money so I can't and when I try to leave she says I can't take care of myself like she can which has resulted in my "dependence life trap". Where I feel so useless and can't take care of myself but then I have issues with trusting people and letting them help me out because I look stupid and weak.
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Sorry to hear about how your mom is treating you. She sounds kind of like how my mom was and still is to me at times. I had no boobs back then, but she always complained about how I had a big stomache even when no one else ever complained about me being anywhere near overweight. Because of that I developed an eating disorder in my 20's. I'm over it now.
Don't let her negativity get to you. Have you tried wearing a sports bra or have you tried getting a bra fitting yet? Sports bras w/o wires can be supportive and not to uncomfortable to wear. Also, try bras w/o those horrible underwires. You need to get a bra fitting to find the right size for you.
I now have big boobs, so I need to wear a bra in public. If I don't, then I'm sure that I'd get some unwanted attention. So if you're like me, then you should think about that. There are also some nipple covers that you buy at Target that don't cost that much. It does sound like you need support though.
And I hate to say this, but some people, especially guys might get the wrong impression of you if they see you out in public w/o a bra on. Not being mean, just saying. People do judge unfortunately. It's best to stay away from anything that reveals to much cleavage. As for the goth look, I think that it's beautiful if it's done right. There is nothing wrong with wearing off beat colors as long as the color looks good on you, who cares? Wear stuff that flatters your body. Be your own unique self. If you try to fit in to please other people, you'll be miserable. Don't let other people suppress you.
You sound young, so now is the time to express yourself. I dressed up a bit goth to go to clubs at times. Not that much though as I'm lazy, but I did look different at times, not just with my goth look. Let stupid people judge. If they're going to be that stupid and shallow, eff them. You don't want or need people like that in your life. Find other goths to hang out with at school or on meetup.com.
Try to get a job, but always dress up professionally and wear a bra. Bring a resume and do research on how to conduct yourself during an interview. Be on time and and try to act confident even if you're not. Save up some money and get a roommate if you have to. You need to get out of there as soon as you can. It sounds like your mom likes you to be dependent on her. That's not healthy. She sounds mean and controlling. It's obvious that she wants you to be someone you're not, so the sooner you're out of there, the better.