Not feeling like you belong is a symptom of being an ACoA.

lol.

j/k. I understand the reaction, but like brainhi said, if someone is using the ACA label to blame their parents, they're off track. The purpose is to shed light on why we are the way we are -- some of that has to do with being raised in an alcoholic family. It's a way of understanding yourself better. It's not an excuse to blame someone else for the way you are. The past is done. We have to figure out what to do now. It's our lives.

Sometimes people need to get angry at their parents for a while. Or they need to talk about the pain they went through. I went through that phase. It can be part of the healing, especially if you come from a family like mine where no one ever expressed feelings or talked about personal stuff like that.

But it wasn't about blame. It was about "this is what happened, and this is how I felt about it." To some degree, "this is what it did to me." Because it did have an effect, a lasting effect -- no denying that. But that's self-understanding, with some anger, hurt, grief, sadness, and shame mixed in. But that's different than blame. You blame sometimes (everyone does), but you don't get stuck there, or you've lost your way.