Too old to be this bad at dealing, managing, improving.

Insight just doesn't help me. Possibly makes it worse. Hopefully until it makes it better.

My belief system or chaos (I dare say I see a, rather intricate really, system) is messed up. I want pure irrationality. Probably never get it or shouldn't want it.

But that's me. Just BP is probably easier. I am pretty good at mania and depression, I might say.

There is still hope. Being older and wiser must help, I just don't see it.

Just stay determined. There is hope. Justified or not, I'd take it. I do.