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Rhapsody said:
I am feeling lost right now.... and with him not wanting to leave the house how do I move on with my life in order to figure out what I really want? - and remember I do not work, therefore, I cannot be the one to leave.

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Rhap, please check out my suggestions above for ideas on this--legal ideas. There are ways to do this. Lots of folks can't get the spouse out of the house. Happened to me too. Legal solution did the trick. Please see a lawyer soon so that you at least know your options. Ask specifically about "Temporary Order of Support."

He's not really leaving the family. You are one leaving the relationship. The one leaving the relationship is not necessarily the one to leave the house, though. Sounds like he has these two confused. You can reassure him that you are the leaver in this relationship, and he is the left. Maybe it will make him feel better and not bring up bad echoes from what happened with his dad. My husband was abandoned as a toddler by his father. It has been very hard for him to have our marriage end as he always wanted to provide a stable home with two parents for his kids. So I am the one leaving the relationship. I think it helps him. (I get to stay in the house, though.)

One of the most useful things I did in the early stages of leaving was go to "uncoupling therapy" with my husband. It is essentially couples therapy, but with the goal of emotionally unentangling from each other, rather than a goal of fixing a marriage. Sometimes you can go to couples therapy and not know what direction you will head in. The couple can reach that decision (fix the marriage vs. end the relationship) as part of their therapy. Maybe you or your husband would find this useful? It might help him understand better how "broken" the relationship is (from your point of view).

Best of luck, Rhapsody.