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Antipsychotics helped with paranoia and persecutory delusions (and, underlyingly, delusions of grandeur). What remains is rock solid, but less consequential (still not inconsequential by far).
My mood stabiliser is helpful. But I think mania and depression is too. I want both, severely, with enough stability between episodes. It used to be rather continuous, so I'm thankful I now have three states (one now that brings back useful and happy memories) of being and one is more acceptable for others.
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Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide.
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me.
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